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“Reframing a situation as a learning experience could help you feel better.”
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
“Capulets? More like Crapulets heh”
A Montague at some point probably (via francedancerevolution)
I apologize to everyone whose grammar I ever corrected before I learned not to be a tool.